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Recognise any of these symptoms?
Many people who went to boarding school are not aware that their experiences as child have affected them as adults in specific ways because they boarded.
Sometimes, there is a feeling that all is not right, but it is difficult for them to know where to start asking questions. Here, we point to some tell tale signs of how adults behave as a result of their boarding experiences.
The symptoms of what we call a "Boarding School Survivor" are varied and complex.
They may include:
• difficulties in relationships and parenting
• workaholism
• substance abuse
• isolation
• irritability
• an inability to relax
• a sense of failure
• physical, sleep and sexual problems
• bulllying or emotionally-absent behaviour to loved ones.
These and other problems stem from a complicated mix of neglect and of being exiled from normal family life to an institution with easy exposure to bullying and abuse. They are compounded by an inner sense of shame for having had a so-called "privileged" education.
Such an education is poor training for normal life and a disastrous preparation for intimate relationships with partners and being a parent. However, it's only recently that these symptoms have been confidently attributed to the effects of childhood boarding.
• Like to know more? Read more about Boarding School Survivors in Nick Duffell's book The Making of Them, the British Attitude to Children and the Boarding School System
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