“When I imagine myself back in time as a young child, I can feel a slight unease. A lot of it was good, a little was great but there was an underlying constant feeling of fear and stress... of getting into trouble – with an unreasonable matron for example.

"As a day scholar, the child puts all that aside once he/she reaches the safety and comfort of home, and then recharges their batteries, ready for the next day. At boarding schools there's no let up."

Boarders in Denial

“Boarders are in denial for a huge part of the time they are at school as well as at home.

"At school we don't want to admit to ourselves that we're…
• feeling homesick because that would break down our own defences.
• we’re not getting on with people because it opens up a whole set of questions for us as to why and what can be done about it and whose fault is it – and who will deal with confronting the other party/parties involved.

"We don't want to admit to our parents that we’re...
• feeling homesick because that will make our parents feel bad.
• not getting on with some of our peers as it looks like failure.

"We don't want to admit to peers that we’re...
• not getting on with somebody because peers are in the same boat, and instead of being sympathetic, they look down on you as having a problem and will, strangely enough, start hanging out with the other party mentioned.”